When ADHD Doesn’t Feel Like a “Superpower”

This past week, my ADHD has been at what feels like an all-time high. My focus is practically nonexistent, my emotions have been on a rollercoaster, and my irritability is just under the surface, ready to jump out. I've spent days feeling like I'm stuck in this mental fog, unable to keep up with all the “small things” that seem so easy for others. And by yesterday, all I wanted—my one goal—was just to put my clothes away. It had been over two weeks of them piling up, sitting there becoming a new dog bed, but even thinking about starting felt impossible.

The Power of Body Doubling

After putting it off all morning, with the help of my husband, I finally began to do it. Thank you, body doubling. Just having him there, someone to body-double with, made starting possible, at least. And things were okay… until they weren’t.

When Task Paralysis Sets In

Somewhere around the 90% mark, it was like a flood of everything I’d been avoiding came rushing in. Putting away laundry led to thinking about the mountain of other tasks around the house I hadn’t gotten to, all the goals I’d set for myself that had fallen. That “just a small chore” spiraled into every other unfinished task that I couldn’t ignore anymore. I just shut down—full task paralysis, right there on the bed, clothes almost put away but suddenly feeling like I had no energy to finish the last 10%.

Breaking Down Over Laundry

So I sat there, crying, unable to wrap my head around how something so small became so overwhelming. And in that moment, all I could feel was this deep frustration. I wanted to hate my brain. I wanted to be one of those people who can “just do it,” who doesn’t have to think about it, who doesn’t spiral at the thought of a laundry basket. This, I thought, is the real side of ADHD. It’s not cute or fun. It’s definitely not a “superpower.” It is me, at 28 years old, unable to handle putting away my clothes without having a meltdown.

Wishing for a "Normal" Brain

Yesterday, I probably said, “I hate my brain” more times than I’d like to admit. There’s so much I’m working on every day, but there are moments like these that remind me just how heavy this brain can feel.

Finding Gratitude in My ADHD

Through all of this, I am grateful. I’m grateful for my husband and for the friends I’ve met who get it. I’m grateful for the ADHD community, for people living in a world built for neurotypicals, navigating it together, reminding each other that we’re not alone.

ADHD may not feel like a superpower for me, and it’s okay to feel that way. Some days, the real “power” is just getting through, step by step, meltdown or not, and knowing that I have people in my corner as I do.